The Wicked and I

I didn’t think Wicked would get a blog post. I just…didn’t think there’d be anything left for me to discern or anything remarkable to comment on. Indeed, I’d probably use “unremarkable” as a pejorative for the film in my crankier moments. In casual conversation, however, I’ve been calling it “just fine.”

A few people whose opinions I value, friends with taste I consider discerning, liked this movie. Like, thought it was good type of like.

Maybe the first thing I should acknowledge is that as a stage musical, Wicked isn’t exactly high art. It’s a pop musical that’s become a tourist attraction with a routine national tour–it’s based off of some weird prequel book someone wrote for one of the most iconic IPs of all time, and despite some truly freakish choices and stupid lore, it’s got a basic plot and themes simplistic enough for a kindergartener to keep up with. It also has one of the best Broadway numbers ever in “Defying Gravity.” That’s just my opinion, you know, and I’m not a huge musical geek, but I’ve seen a show or two on the Great White Way and listened to a handful more. Plus, I’m a bit of a snob generally.

My letterboxd review says something like “some of this is almost great,” and I really stand by that. I’m going to get into what I didn’t like and I think it’s going to come off harsh, so let me not mince my words here at the top as I go through what I did like. We’ll start with “The Wizard and I,” a number I only vaguely remember from the show. Cynthia Erivo really shines here. In the beginnings of Wicked, Elphaba’s character is guarded, strong, and a bit on the (I apologize for using this word) demure side. She does her best to obey her father and serve her sister, and whatever hopes and dreams she may have are masked by her stoicism. Aside from her corny tantrums when she flies off the handle, it’s a pretty one note performance. I think that’s fine, by the way! The musical format allows for the best possible avenue to add a second dimension–the solo! (Okay, it’s not technically a solo, but Michelle Yeoh is really not technically singing.) Cynthia taps into an optimistic vulnerability—one of the most captivating kinds for a character on the pessimistic side. The best and worst of “The Wizard and I” is the best and worst of the film. You have Cynthia’s undeniable talent, initially set against some interesting set pieces during the portion of the song she performs within Shiz, and then there’s the awful, drab-looking field she runs out into. It’s really ugly. Absolutely lifeless. There’s been some recent Twitter back-and-forth about it, which is actually what got me back into this review. Wicked defenders say the field looks bad because of the drought on the edge of Oz and that it’s all a part of the story. The naysayers continue their argument that deserts and decay can look good, including citations of recent releases to back up their claim. Now, I wouldn’t expect it to look good—the rest of the movie is bad-looking, why would this field match Dune or Furiosa? Ugh. There’s just something so bleh about the CGI and some of the sets (I hope the grass was set :( ). I just thought the blandness clashed horribly with the beautiful performance from Cynthia and it kinda ruined it for me. I wish they had found us another way to show us the drought conditions.

Next, Jonathan Bailey. That man could charm the socks off my great-grandmother—and she’s been dead for twenty years! Yes, he looks his age, but he’s so goddamn dashing I’d believe it if he was playing a preschooler. “Dancing Through Life” is one of the songs from the musical I like, and I do think Jonathan Bailey’s version is a highlight of the movie. Quite literally! Also much-discussed is how backlit some of the shots were here. Even before the film was released, a clip went viral and was a target of criticism. I don’t remember much from the number besides the revolving bookshelves, and I recall being underwhelmed by what should’ve been a really cool set piece.

And then there was Arianka. I liked her in the movie, I guess. She was fine. I don’t know if her MUA has quite figured out what her eyebrows should look like with her lighter hair. I’m not sure I can think of another actress who could’ve matched Cynthia vocally and also pulled off the popular-girl peppiness of Glinda. I liked her singing! And did not dislike anything about her acting. I didn’t find any of the physicality she brought to the role to be particularly novel, and I would in fact be irritated if she took up a Supporting Actress nomination slot. The “Popular” number was good, too!

“Popular” and “What Is This Feeling?” are her star songs, and she certainly doesn’t flail. I almost really liked them! They were both just slightly off. Starting sequentially with the latter (don’t that make good sense?), I was nearly wowed by this number. Movie musicals have the benefit of being free from the set limitations of stage, and while it’s not uncommon for theater sets to be quickly transformed into something else, it’s rare-to-impossible for a sequence to have multiple sets, costumes, and companies and to keep flitting between them. Therein, I believe, is the root of my problem. “What Is This Feeling?” is just too dynamic—and that includes the way it’s edited. There’s that nice bit of book-banging choreography—where did the rest go? Something that makes even a bad musical entertaining is the skill of the cast in terms of vocals and dancing. I am absolutely not qualified to comment on the quality of the dancing (I think it was good, I guess! There were no dedicated Kelly/Astaire-esque footwork numbers) so all that was okay. What I didn’t like, and this peeves me immensely, is how it was filmed and edited. The book-banging part ends so abruptly, it’s like a taste of the best cake you’ve ever had before it’s taken away forever. I wish the desk-grabbing was flashier, more dancy. Glimpses of fun before getting whacked with Chu’s aptitude for disjointment. It’s a common complaint with less adroit action movies (think Marvel crap vis-à-vis a Chad Stahelski joint) wherein the cuts are so fast and the movement is so jumbled a fight sequence is a barrage of motion that gives the impression of action rather than a real, followable depiction. “The pull-in was to show the expression on Glinda’s face!” Sure. Yeah. That’s the reason. Doesn’t make it the best choice. I would have preferred longer shots with the company and less flitting between the scenes—I understand what was attempting to be done with the interweaving of different parts of their Shiz life while the song builds, but I think going steady from one to the other would have worked better. It could have very effectively culminated in their sparring class thingy instead of being a mishmash of everything.

One thing I have to compliment is the overall production design. Please keep this in mind before I continue on through what I didn’t like. I liked the costumes and the way everything was built and laid out. I’m not saying it isn’t ridiculous or makes much sense, but the whole thing is cutesy silly bullshit. You have to meet Shiz University where it’s at. Don’t think too hard about where the dying field is relative to the secret forest or Dr. Dillamond’s house. It’s all there somewhere. It’s Oz, for Oz’s sake. I liked everything but the Ozdust.

Ah, yes, the Ozdust scene. Now we can get into the things I outright disliked. This is incontrovertibly corny. I really like the emotional dynamic at play—Glinda’s cruel plays coming together as Elphaba’s kind gestures simultaneously take shape—but Elphaba’s shameless dance is such a childish plot point. It’s not even something I steadfastly hate. The gutsy character showing everyone they don’t care what they think isn’t anything new, and as much as I understand it as a necessary plot point (a lot of musicals have this thing where character relationships or the plot change on a whim, often by musical revelation), it was just so meh. I really do think that the cast averaging mid-thirties doesn’t help with trying to pull this off. The rest of my problem, I think, is the staging and the whole Ozdust location. It’s not impressive—the band was cute, but I hate the stairs. It feels so sterile, and not at all like a sleazy, raging party locale. Nothing dangerous or provocative about it, unless you can’t handle a big, fat set of stairs. Like the scene Elphaba makes, it all feels just necessary and not pretty or interesting. And that’s not what I want in a movie, especially a movie musical!

Next on the list of complaints, we have the two performances I didn’t like as well as a side note. My side note is simply: Peter Dinklage, how did you get out of doing press for this? But yeah, Michelle Yeoh and Jeff Goldblum. I generally think Michelle Yeoh is a fine actress, probably more renowned for her martial artistry and acting applied in tandem rather than her singing. And, uh, if you saw the movie, you know she barely sings in it. Not a great turn from her. Goldblum—perhaps the perfect actor to play a rapist and a fraud—basically phones it in too. I think it passes because of the sleazy Goldbluminess of it all, but I probably wouldn’t call it good. I do enjoy him in basically anything, but I’m trying to be self-aware here.

What truly left me lukewarm with this movie was the “Defying Gravity” scene. It’s doodoo. This is the hero song of the whole musical—the one you belt out horribly in the car and hope no one notices when you stop at a red light. Cynthia’s vocal performance is wonderful, it’s everything else that’s lacking. In general, Wicked suffers from that prequel sickness of having to explain every bit of how something came to be, even if it’s cramming it in in an incredibly noxious way. Nothing is as bad as Han Solo getting the name Solo because he’s alone until “Defying Gravity,” when she gets her broomstick because there’s one in the room they’ve locked themselves in—and oh! there’s a big, black cape in here, too! Ugh.

The worst thing about Wicked’s “Defying Gravity” is how it’s broken up. I think the cast recording/stage number develops so magnificently. An argument between friends in the moment harkening on their differences morphs into this admission of mutual support, even though they’re both about to go where the other can’t follow, building into Elphaba coming into the full strength of both her convictions and her powers. Bah, and the movie actively ruins all that by delivering the song piecemeal. The action should be an afterthought during this number, especially with the flying monkeys that look like shit! I’m not saying there’s an easy way to do flying monkeys, but I have to believe I can expect better. Honestly, what’s wrong with people in costumes? We probably have better monkey suits available than Stanley Kubrick did—they’d probably just cost more than CGI mess and employ too many unionized craftspeople. But even aside from the horrible monkeys, the stop-and-go of the song is so demoralizing. I thought it really sucked the life from the song. When it’s the climax of the film and the final scene—there’s no other way for me to leave the theater except disappointed.

FINALLY: this film is absolutely effing hideous. Harsh, but when I think about the cost and all the bullshit that’s being spewed, it’s necessary to take a strong stance. All of the money that went into what practical sets were used was so obviously a marketing strategy and to ensure some plausible deniability for the Ariana Grande stans. I believe, genuinely, that it’s a marketing psyop as much as “all the songs were performed live!” is. If you’re new here, that’s not an uncommon shtick for movie musical marketing. Online, there’s been this huge faux-snob push with those who believe only practical effects and sets can look good, perpetuated by those who mean well but don’t quite understand what they’re even talking about It’s the same thing with Technicolor—a coloring technique that has now become a stand-in for stand-out colors in films (a big part of the confusion here in discussions of Wicked is that The Wizard of Oz is probably the most famous Technicolor film of all time). It’s a plague of social media—we gain a superficial grasp of a subject and that becomes our automatic deference. Practical effects and sets are something I myself am prone to preferring, but it doesn’t inherently look good. Wicked is proof of that.

I think the state of blockbusters is very dire. I also think that this sentiment has been shared across decades. What I believe makes this state the most precarious is that I don’t know that anyone is coming to save us. When the George Millers, Christopher Nolans, and Steven Spielbergs of the world are gone, what and who are we left with? I know there are filmmakers left who employ style and finesse, but who’s going to fund their projects if this slop is what’s acceptable? I do have to sit down and watch In the Heights, and hopefully that’ll make me understand why this project was given to Chu, but I feel so doubtful. The reception of this movie just makes me despair. Oscar talk for something so middling…no, it’s nothing new, but when big business vultures are so eager to underfund projects and push real artists out with AI, anything less than our best doesn’t sit well with me.